How to Get Started with Counseling
"How do I know if I need therapy or if I am just being dramatic?"
"I have never done counseling before. What do I even say?"
"Where do I start when I want to find a therapist who gets me?"
If you have ever asked yourself a version of these questions, you are in the right place! For many, starting counseling sits on their to do list for… a while. You do not need to wait until things fall apart to reach out. In fact, reaching out when things are starting to feel off is likely to be more helpful (although therapy can also be helpful when shit is really hitting the fan). Whether you are feeling anxious all the time, overwhelmed in your relationship, or just stuck in a cycle that is no longer working for you, therapy can help.
Starting therapy can feel weird, especially when you are already anxious, overwhelmed with a wildly busy schedule, trying to get someone to go with you (like in couples counseling), or struggling just to feel comfortable in yourself. This post is designed to help answer your main questions about how to get started with counseling.
Is Counseling Right for Me?
Short answer: Probably! Therapy is not just for people in crisis. It is for anyone who wants things to feel better. People often start therapy when they are dealing with:
Anxiety that will not quiet down, no matter how many to-do lists they make
Communication issues in their relationships or marriage that pile up
Perfectionism or people-pleasing that feels out of control
Feeling stuck in life, work, relationships, or their identity
Big transitions like moving, coming out, ending a relationship, or starting a new job
LGBTQ+ concerns like navigating a new identity, coming out, or relationships
Maybe you have said, “I am just tired of feeling this way,” or “I don’t know what else to try.” That is enough reason to start.
What to Consider Before Reaching Out to a Therapist
To make your search less overwhelming, here are some helpful questions to ask yourself before reaching out to a therapist:
1. What is bringing you to therapy right now?
You do not need to have a perfectly worded answer. Some people say:
“My anxiety has gotten worse and I am tired of managing it alone.”
“We keep having the same arguments in our relationship.”
“I feel like I should be happy, but I am not.”
“I am questioning my identity and do not know who to talk to.”
Even just saying “something feels off and I want support” is a great place to start.
2. What kind of counseling are you looking for?
Individual therapy: for anxiety, stress, identity, or personal growth
Couples counseling: for communication, building trust, or reconnecting
Group therapy: to learn new skills and ways of relating with other people
3. Do you want to use insurance?
Insurance-based counseling: Your therapist must be in-network with your insurance company. You will usually need a diagnosis on file for insurance to cover your therapy sessions.
Private pay (out-of-pocket): This gives you more freedom because no diagnosis required, and you get to choose how long and how often you go to therapy. Some people also use HSA/FSA funds for this.
4. Do you want virtual, in-person, or hybrid therapy?
Some people love the convenience of video sessions from home, while others prefer sitting face-to-face in a cozy office. Many therapists offer both options, and can adjust based on your needs. Make sure to ask in your initial consultation, especially if you have a preference.
How to Find a Therapist
One of the biggest barriers to starting therapy is not knowing where to look for a therapist. If you are already overwhelmed, trying to decode endless bios and websites can make you shut your laptop real quick and move this task back to the end of your to-do list. Here are a few resources to help narrow things down:
Therapy Den: inclusive and filterable by identity and specialty
Psychology Today: searchable directory for local therapists
Insurance provider lists: usually found in your member portal
Local mental health organizations: like the Health District of Northern Larimer County if you are in Northern Colorado
Personal referrals: friends, family, doctors, or community leaders
Samantha Ricard Counseling: That is me! If you are in Colorado and want a supportive space to work through anxiety, relationship and communication issues, or identity transitions, I’d love to talk.
What Should I Say When I Contact a Therapist?
You do not have to have everything you want to say written out when you first contact a therapist. A simple message like: “Hi, I am looking to start therapy for anxiety and some relationship stress. Do you offer consultations?” is a great place to start.
If you do want to share more, you can include:
What you are hoping to work on
If you are looking for individual or couples therapy
Whether you want virtual or in-person sessions
If you plan to use insurance or pay out-of-pocket
I recommend reaching out to 3–4 therapists for a consultation. Many (including me) offer a free 15–20 minute phone call so you can get a feel on whether this is a therapist that can help you before committing to a paid session.
What Is a Therapy Consultation Like?
This looks different depending on the therapist and practice. In my practice, here is what happens during a consultation call:
We talk briefly about what is bringing you in to therapy now
If you have been to therapy before we will briefly discuss what has or has not worked for you in the past
You can ask questions about fees, scheduling, and the approaches I use to help your specific concerns
I will be transparent if I think I am a good fit. If I’m not, I will provide referrals to other therapists who might be
This is your chance to feel it out. A consultation is not meant to pressure you. Instead, it should feel like a real conversation. If you feel a little more hopeful after the call, that is a sign that therapy can be helpful and you might have found a good fit in a therapist.
What Happens After the Consultation?
Again, each therapist and practice is different. In my practice, we will schedule your first session if we both decide we would like to work together. Before we meet for that session, you will receive electronic paperwork to complete. It includes:
Informed consent and confidentiality
Office policies
Demographic information
Intake questions about your concerns, other symptoms you might be experiencing, and a brief background about you and your relationships
What Is the First Therapy Session Like?
The first session is usually called an “intake.” This session is about getting to know you, and we will talk about:
What is been going on recently
What you are hoping will feel different after therapy
Past experiences with anxiety, relationships, or identity
How you typically cope with stress
What support has looked like in your life (or what is been missing)
If you are feeling unsure or nervous, we can go slow. Some clients want to dive right in, while others need to build trust before talking about the hard stuff. Both are valid. If we are working together I will check in regularly and make sure our pace feels right for you.
If you are using insurance, other questions regarding your symptoms, frequency, and mental health history will be discussed. This is to help provide a diagnosis for insurance purposes.
What If I Have Never Done Therapy Before?
That is totally okay! Many of my clients are new to therapy and not sure what to expect. You do not have to come in with all the answers. Therapy is a space to explore them together. I am here to guide the process and create a space where you can be honest without being judged.
What If I have Been to Therapy Before and It Didn’t Help?
That is valid, too. Sometimes therapy is not a good fit, not because there is something wrong with you, but because not every therapist is the right match for every client. If you have had a negative or unhelpful experience in the past, we can talk about what did not work and how to do things differently this time.
What If I am Still Not Sure I am Ready?
That is fair. Starting therapy is a big decision. If you are not ready to book a session yet, consider:
Scheduling a free consultation just to gather info
Reading my blog post “How Do I Know If I Need Counseling?”
Journaling or talking with a trusted friend about what is keeping you on the fence
Reaching out now and starting in a few weeks when your schedule feels more open
There is no perfect time to start therapy. The best time is when you decide you are ready for something to feel different.
Ready to Start Counseling?
If you are tired of overthinking it and want support navigating anxiety, relationship stress, or just feeling like yourself again, I would love to talk with you. I work with adult women, couples, and LGBTQ+ clients who are ready to feel more calm, connected, and confident in themselves and their lives. Click here to schedule your free consultation.